Jamie Memories

On June 14, 2010, I lost my mom "Debbie Lynn Lindsay." I have learned that a migrane is a scarey thing. I never new my mom did not feel that good since Thrusday before her death. I thought it was a simple headache. I have learned people show there true colors through things. I have seen people in my family hurt both my mom and dad over the years. I have watched people take advantage over my mom, dad and self. I have watched my mom pass away. I held her hand and watched her cry. She never went in the hospital. Watching my mom lay on the floor in the bathroom. I have never thought I could experience that in my life.

I feel for people. I, dislike and can never do the death watch, I have seen my Grandfather Alferd M. Lindsay Sr. pass in the hospital a V.A in Loma Linda. I spent countless but must nessecary time at the "place." I remember my Aunt would have us Pray every hour on the hour. I remember eating on the floor. Taking naps at the hospital. The funeral was so unreal. I remember the Police escorts on the 91 freeway and remember the after thing at my Ma's House. I was so hard for me to deal with that.

Then, My Grandma Goldie Mae Campbell, That was scarey. My mom would go all day and everyday. I remember the phone ringed at 6 am telling us we had to come ay goodbye. My mom sisters and brother were there or my aunts and Uncles. I remember crying I remember going a taking a shift to to let my mom sleep. I remember yelling or getting angry at the nurses for not getting ice chips. she Was thristy. she couldn't have water. The funeral was hard for me.

My Grandfather Goldie Husband was six months later, Jesse Campbell, He was different for me. Scince I began to spend a lot of time with him at the house and after my grandma passed. He got dispressed in my opinion. My mom used to blame herself. I used to tell her she should not be blamming herself. She is a good women working hard. ( I don't like to see people cry or blame themselves) Know one at fault just grandpa need to see a different way of looking at things.

I cry and think and plead with the Lord Savior to bring my mom back. But its selfish for me. God had a reason. Maybe my mom was hurting so much for worrying for the saftey of her kids and Grandkids. She treated everyone like her family. She gave everyone advice. She was like the pastor said "Momma bear watching her cubs" I was a cubs. Now, I am a bear watching the house making sure things go my way. And that I stay happy.  I always feel that she is here right next to me. And that I have my om or momma bear.

                                       ~ To be Continued ~
~ Jamie