Thursday thoughts

thinking about everything, I think mother nature it taking it tool on my body. I am to the point where I don't care whats in the mail and what is going on. I don't know what is but its a strange theory. Employee? I wish. I wish I would of took the step and went to Vegas. I feel like I need to find some type of outlet.

Cousin birthday

Sunday was a great day. Just a little worried about the week. I am hoping that I get the extension it just hired somewhere.

If

If someone has a lot of woman followers does that mean anything... Or should I let it go ???

Thanksgiving

I don't know why I was crying last night. It's like this is not the life I wanted or thus isn't me anymore ... Depressing. I don't get it. Left out card rings a bell. Ugh.. I don't feel good. Today is also the passing of my grandma . Goldie ...
I miss my mom. Strange things happen.

Thoughts

People get on my nerves sometimes and I have To think of things that happen ...

New dream

Well I went to take to applications in and trying to get to work. Then I came out her (Laguna hills) to help my sister. My dad and Older sister keeps questioning her. True ... I have a place I have only stayed there once. What can I say. I mean I am trying but it works or doesn't ... Ya know.

Voting day

NAACP: Thanks for exercising your right to vote! FWD this msg to friends & tell them to call 866-687-8683 if they experience voting irregularities at the polls.

Halloween

My mom liked Halloween to have parties for the kids. Wearing there costume and getting candy. Well Selah did not get to go because she have the chips away to her friends. Which was i could us her to pass out candy. No one came. Strange holiday. Shonaray took Isaiah and Jeremiah out they went far I guess ... Did not get a lot of candy though.
My dad tried to visit my brother new house. But he was not there. So many another time. Still her helping my sister. I get annoyed of my dad calling and bugging I don't mind it but it gets annoying.

My thoughts for today

Every since my family found out I was moving into apartment. I been getting lines like I don't need To live alone. I need to be with family. I don't see why I should live somewhere else. I am not mad I am annoyed. Because no one in my pocket but me. It's my life. I need to be able to be free.
😾😬

Today my mom birthday. She would be 56 today. You are you deeply missed. I just think of you all the time. I miss doing things with you and talking to you and hearing your laugh.

It's funny

Things that I notice but I let it go.

Today my mom birthday. She would be 56 today. You are you deeply missed. I just think of you all the time. I miss doing things with you and talking to you and hearing your laugh.

Thinking about Stuff

i been looking at things from another percpective. I am ready to change my life and me.I beenseriously depressed and down on me and my self lately thinking of my momand worried about the what ifs. Such as what if she did not died. Would she be angry about things. Would I still be friends with my friends that I loss over the years because i didnot know. All the what if it causing me to think and feell bad. I  don't want that. I want me to be happy. I just need some clarity to know that things are going to change.
Today I get punched in the face. And then he is all in love with me later. That's crazy.

Days like this

I don't know what is wrong with things lately. I feel like my stuff bit balancing out in my head. It's like equal not equal. I am happy sometime and then after that fail. I just want to have the love, happiness or just something. I miss him sometimes don't know why. But attention is attention.

July over

Can you believe the months over? I have had a real weird month. Been thinking of my mom, friends and hoping that the family okay.

Beach Trip

On Saturday we did our sister beach trip. It was so much fun. In the am, we went to the starter bros and got stuff and the ice chest. You'll laugh.

Then we left to the beach and went to Newport. Loved it. It was fun. Selah sat on the ice chest lol. So funny

Angels Games or Sister Game

I went to my Angels Game. I had a blast with my Sister. I was happy to spend time with my family. I need To get my eyes checked. But we had the best seats I believe. I think in sat there before. Even the people I sat with were funny as heck.

Feeling

Your the last person I think about before I go to bed. You the first person I think of before and when I wake up. What do I do?

50 Shades Of Grey, darker, Freed

I am reading the trilogy. I am on book two. I am in shock and I love the book. I finished reading last night.

Sister birthday

Today is my sister birthday exciting day in the family. First, I made the kids a bagel which was fine. Second a knock at the door it's Bromby trade things and get ready. Third, was my uncle to do the yard and tell ask if Someone could check his air. I told my father. Then, He said how it was such a great event on Sunday. It was fun. Sure fun. If I was married for 57 years I would be excited. Crazy huh. I thinking so. Side note.

Funny

It's funny how you talk to someone every day and then all of a sudden you stop talking to them because who knows what. Just thought

My mind

If I let my mind wonder I will think of different things. But I always think of the negative never positive things. Because I always think my feeling are going to get hurt. I always jump or leap fast before.

Friendships are different for me to figure out things. After this I am off to sleep and shower :/ see you tomorrow

Things on my mind

I often sit and daydream and imagine what is going trough my mind or just what is going on. I pray and try and figure out things. But sometimes things do always seem to go my way :)

Maybe

I feeling not satisfied. Maybe my choices I make are not right and need to be thought out. More and more
Enough said i just cleared my head

Fourth of July

America birthday ... So exciting.. Not really. It's red ... The flood of it. Moods this week is unsettling its people don't want to be around. Then I found out something yesterday that rub me the wrong way. If your a friend to someone why do you want to hurt me? And slander me around a company that I used to work for? Why do you want TI through my mom death in my face. Is that a thing you like to do. I feel as if I choose the wrong people to be circled around my life. I don't mean to choose its just me I guess...
Well, Awkward moment again... Hmm maybe it's just me... I don't know ... They all were on the weeks oh well my life goes on

Figures

I don't understand why people put them selves in situation that are not good or healthy. You know you need o change things yet you don't even attempt it. I don't get the thoughts behind people thinking. I have changed and moved on...

Ladies Night

My friend from a longtime, spending long times together and rolling deep. I have such a great friend. That was one of my beastie from a longtime. She was loyal. I love her so. She made our favorite Pink Panties yummy four of them I was happy.

Day 4 : Bahamas, boat, Many more

We started our morning at the Gym. I did 20 minutes and my sister did longer. Then we came back showered and headed to the Bahamas. Coming off the boat was insanely busy. We took photos there was many moments of instragram moments and facebook. I'll write to everyone tomorrow. To make sure they are okay. Miss everyone.
The beach was beautiful and insanely pretty. I love drinking on the beach. I( I'm going to tell him I want a massage & I need one to relax From brain stress. ) I brought a coconut and they gave me a bottle of rum. (dena would love this place. I could not finish my Bottle

Day 5: Vacation

Slept til 11:40... Had a family meeting in the room. Then took showers changed for the day. Dunno what the day going to be. By the way, happy fathers day dad. Miss the kids the family and texting my new friend. The game today. Rodney King passed away sad he fell in the pool and drowned. Sad. Then went to lunch. Good I had lamb yummy with onions and mushrooms and fries and Califorina rolls and that's it. Then I went to my massage it was the best ever. I was so impressed and relaxed. I may need another one soon ;) It's so beneficial to feel relaxed and organized with your body and know the bones and oils to use. I watched the movie called "we Brought A Zoo" great movie I really loved it was the last thirty minutes. But hey I liked it. Let's see then we had dinner together and it was great. We had a great time together. Then we went and see the comedian funny and nasty. Drinks following we and laughing and enjoying our vacation. Then we hit the club drinks Ca parties and then midnight pizza yummy. Hit the bed at 4 am :)

Sometimes

I come to realize that being alone is that hard. I am content with it. I understand that I fall for people that hurt, no respect, don't understand how I live my life. I am semi-happy. I need to medium.

Daily Log

Well, I am back to normal on now on the path to something new... Gonna change and clean then do laundry... Ugh the pile ... Summer here.. It's funny how you see things that remind you of your mom. You just miss her and think of her.

Loyalty: Word of the Day

Loyalty is where u are faithful to one person. Loyal to my family I love them and I appreciate them. I have put others first but, then in a possible discovery I learned I should not. People need to understand they need to be loyal to there family, friends and find a person that is the equal medium. Being betrayed is hard and take back.I wish I have learned alot in my life that has changed. I am truly blessed to have a great family and few people I can call friends

Memorial day 2012

Today is the day you honor the vets and others in the uniform. I feel honored to have a few in my family my grandfathers and cousins. And my friends Aja and a few others. I am proud To have them in my life. I went To spend the day with my family in the morning my dad went To return the grill and had a there was conversation again. Let it go when are all family and we don't want Fight. Why fight. Get over your yourselves. Sorry for vents

Then the evening was great we had dinner the kids played in the slip in slide that made a great day. Sisters

Sister

One of my sisters I care a lot about her . I just don't get why she acts the way she a acts.

Sunday

Started out at 6 because we woke up early and were tried. Then dad called we were rolling. My aunt was in a awful mood. She was mad at the grill and that was hers and she was upset. Oh well. Just kidding. I was worried I never see her act that way. Then she started while we were cooking and I made a joke and everyone laughed and she didn't find it funny and got mad and started yelling at Sisters. She hasd a knife behind her back. Scary. I was shocked . Then the kids were playing outside and she was mad because they were spraying water on her. Uh they are kids. Then my other sister came we had to go to the doctor to take my niece her eye was infected it was stye. After that, we went back and people were arriving and party was underway. It's was so much fun. Hanging out with the people you
Love.
It's Like I never been there in an experience to that.
After all cleaning, trashing, recycling, and enjoying closeness it was the best day with a hiccup.

Wonderful Saturday

My sister graduated with a double major exciting. I was so happy for her. I did regret. Not taking a photo down at the school. She deserves to be recognized. For her efforts, achievements, and hardworking. I did keep trying to go with daddy, brat-pack and my sisters.
Then we had lunch at joes crab-shacks which was fun. Kids got to see the seal and walk in the beach after then to Toms farms that's place us exciting.
Then home to be with the family. Nice day. I knew my mom was there u felt her presents. So great and exciting.

Bravo

I been watching Don't Be Trady for the wedding. I love this show in a way. Its okay. Its just Kim Life.. Thats all... I think she was kinda rude to her mom. You don't be rude to your mom. you only have one. The wedding going to be a must see. and A thing to watch.

Secondly, Kathy Thank u Bravo its the best thing ever.  She is so fanny.

Addiction

How could you let an addition take over your life. I don't see it or understand. You know. If its an attempt to ruin your life then a round of applause. I am proud if you for ruining your life and others.

Interesting Tv

So I been watching different shows because of the viggle app on my phone. American guns interesting if I liked guns. Duck dynasty interesting made it Rich off duck calls. Impressive. Seriously. Storage wars and wars one crazy bid on crap in hope that there is money $$$ involved

Realizing the end

Well, it took three years for me to see that he was not one for me. I want a fantasy life truth. I want a big beautiful thing. But I am not putting my hopes up.
I should have realized that someone did not care when they did not remember my birthday and our anniversary. And would not attend my Mom passing. I want someone who is going to love my family for what strange thing it is. But I want then To love my life and things about me. I don't want a liar, drugs no, drinking bout mild, and career

Pretty In Paint: butter LONDON Trout Pout & Snog

Pretty In Paint: butter LONDON Trout Pout & Snog: I have something a little different for today! I will be reviewing  Trout Pout  and  Snog ..as well as their matching  LIPPYS! ! Snog is des... I can'\t wait to get my free nail set

Whitney's home coming

Today I watched the homecoming of Whitney Huston it was remarkable. How family and fans poorer out. I did not enjoy the media part in it. I thought it would have played a little bit easier. Let the lady rest in peace